Too much of whining…

22 06 2010

I realize my posts are starting to sound too depressing. I know I’ve named my blog Whiny for a purpose but still….! But what can I do? All I think about these days is sad and depressing things. I’ve taken such a negative attitude towards things and people in general. I can’t understand for the life of me why I have to complicate things to an extreme. I’m constantly stressing myself which don’t need to be pondered on. I’ve decided enough is enough. I need to free up my mind from these stressful thoughts. And for that I’ll blog about them:

Health:

First and foremost is my health. I don’t remember the last time I felt great, health wise. I’ve generally lost my appetite and even if I eat, I eat useless stuff which has result in a silly bulge in my upper abdomen. As the doctors have diagnosed, I have calcium deficiency after child birth and due to my poor diet I need to have supplements. I’m almost always in pain due to my tailbone pain or feeling nauseas or generally too tired for any activity. Even after having a full nights’ sleep, I’m yawning or too lethargic and seems like I’m drained of all my energy.

Hubby:

It’s been a long time since I enjoyed my marriage and my relationship with my husband. He is such a great guy and does not deserve my negative energies. I snap, I fight, expect too much from him, blame him for everything that’s going wrong with me, blame him for not taking care of me and then get mad by saying that you are no longer the person I married. Heck, I’m not the person he married either! After the baby, I basically kicked our relationship and our social life in the gut! Yes, I wanted the in-laws to be a part of our outings and wanted to enjoy with them but did not realize that we should have some ‘Us’ time as well with the 3 of us or the 2 of us. I’m generally so impatient with him, and generally all our nights end with me putting E to sleep and then going to sleep, him coming in the room after ironing his clothes and crashing in bed. Not a word uttered in between. So you can see how bad we’re handling each other after one kid! I was remembering my ex’s words in relation to this when he said that I might be happy now because of hubby (my then fiancé) but my nature’s flaw will not change and it will come to haunt you and your relationship and his words are coming true.

I’ve realized this and am trying to amend it since the last 2 days. I’m trying to be more patient, being more loving and expecting less from him and more from myself to make this better for the 2 of us. Also I realize that we’ll be able to spend a lot more alone and with kiddo time when in laws would be gone and instead of getting worried about how I’m going to be handling the work and home, I should focus on how much freedom I’ll finally be getting.

E – My boy:

I seem to have stopped enjoying E’s antics. All I do is get frustrated and tired with him, scold him and sometimes hit him for being so fidgety not realizing that toddlers are not constructed to SIT still! I have to stop and smile at him no matter how tired or how much in pain I am. This is the time that they have to enjoy and live a life before schools and competitions set it.

In – laws:

I have to stop thinking that would they like it or not. Without even them asking or saying anything, I’ve started assuming that they won’t like it or not. What am I trying to be, God!?? And I also have to stop worrying how much work it will be after they’re gone and start getting excited of the freedom.  Also I’ve decided I will stop worrying about what I’d do if we were to shift during their absence. Hubby is right, if we find the right house then there’s not point waiting for them to come and letting the house go out of our hands. We’ll handle it when it happens so no use worrying about it.

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4 responses

23 06 2010
sumiya

hi whiny mom, i have been a regular reader of your blog.
i too have a baby who just crossed his first year.. and i had the same experience that u r having after the baby n with in-laws around.. finally enough was enough for me n i decided to quit the job n sit at home to look after my baby.. my in-laws went back after that.. believe me my life got a lot more better after that.. its not that i hate my inlaws but the thing is that if they stay for a long time with us.. its sure that the relationship is going to get bad.. if they come for a week or so its ok.. but beyond that will defly make me n them uncomfortable..
i got a part time maid to help with the baby n my current set up is working out fine..hope u too find a sloution to ur problems soon n have ur freedom n hapineess back ..
best wishes
sumiya

23 06 2010
whinymom

Hey Sumiya, glad to know i have such great and like minded people reading my blog. I’d really like to read your blog too if ud leave behind your url.

Im so glad things are working out for you. Thanks for the wishes. lets see how my case works out.
hugs

23 06 2010
Deepa

Hi WM,

Awwww, gosh I can fully understand what you’re going through now. I had my inlaws stay with me from when my son S was 4 months old until he turned one. And it was not easy….so it is everywhere, it’s not just you WM….and then my inlaws simply went back after S turned one and I had no one to look after my son. I mean how much can my parents budge? But then we didn’t have a choice and my mother looked after S until he was 2!! then when I put S in pre-kg, my inlaws agreed to come and stay with us again, but exactly for one year till he finished pre-kg. They went back the day after his school closed!!!! And then we put S in a day care and he still goes there – initially he used to go for the entire day till the school reopened and then he goes there straight from school. Don’t worry WM, these are just passing phases. They will get over soon and then peace will prevail. Initial reluctance to go to day care will be there, but I can vouch for the fact that E will start loving it after 2 weeks!! And will then insist that he go on weekends too!!!!! Sorry for hogging sooo much of comment space, but I really wanted to make you feel better!!! And ur hubby seems to be a real supportive person, am sure you both will rock when it comes to these decisions!!!

Take care, lotssss of hugs your way!

23 06 2010
whinymom

Please dont be sorry, I love to read comments and its even better when they’re really long. Thank you so much. Now i know im not alone and every one has had to go through some tough changes in life. Rather then fretting over it, i should just deal with it when it happens, after all the in laws or parents wont look after my baby forever, right… ! Ok i feel much better now…
hugs…!

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