Mommy Guilt

23 06 2010

Read a lot about the Mommy guilt contest and a lot of entries as well. Even though I am not an Indian but it just felt like a good topic to write on.

I am intrinsically a very guilty person, and it’s as easy as ABC to make me feel like shit. Come to think of it, it started when we started our attempts at trying to conceive when it took us a good 6 months of trying to get me pregnant. Everything I did from there can be categorized as guilty.

When E was born, he had to be taken out by vacuum when even the forceps failed.

Guilt: I didn’t try enough to push him out generally.

When trying to feed and one nipple was flat, he was unable to latch on.

Guilt: Everyone can do it, even animals can and I can’t even provide the basics to my child

While trying to unsuccessfully swaddle him, give him a bath, clean him or put him to sleep and would see MIL go through it effortlessly and be the supermom when I’m the actual “Mom”

Guilt:  if she can do it then what’s wrong with me? Why do I need so much rest and why am I feeling like am walking like a zombie in the first few months

While giving him formula very early on and still having loads of milk in the boobs and having to pump it day and night and he’d still be howling all day while he is on my feed:

Guilt: What use is all this milk if I cant even get him to latch on to me. I don’t even know if it’s enough for him or not

When going back to work after 3 months off of my maternity leave

Guilty: I’m such a bad mom that I’m leaving my baby to the MIL and going OUT to have a great time away from my baby.

When ever I take him to the doctor and he has to take antibiotics for treatment and the MIL frowns that the Antibiotics are killing the child

Guilt: Am I really doing the right thing

When ever he has an allergy outburst due to his eczema and has that itchy rash all over.

Guilt: I must have done something wrong or didn’t give him enough feed to fight infections.

Recently when I have to send him to the day care as in laws would be travelling

Guilt: How can I leave my baby to be cared by strangers? L

The list is endless and even when I know what I’m feeling guilty is useless and is NOT in my control, I still feel helpless and end up feeling guilty.

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6 responses

24 06 2010
Deepa

Hey WM,

Good one this guilt trip!!!!!

24 06 2010
avymom

nice entry. I was in your space uesterday:) Nice to be able to share these stories! Also i read something about the rashes on your kid…do check out food allergies. In India awareness is not much, A had very similar symptoms..will keep checking on your space!

25 06 2010
whinymom

Welcome! I’ve been getting him treated from the same skin doctor since his birth and they’ve ruled out food allergies. He just has hyper sensitive skin due to his eczema. In either case we’ve been told to wait till he is 2 when we can get him tested for allergies again.

9 12 2010
д§mд

guilts will come and go .. in few years time seeing a healthy boy in front of you .. I’m sure they’ll be all wiped off 🙂

few things I’d like to share here .. I’ve seen many people thinking that milk’s not much so my baby must have formula alongside too … in first two months the milk wont be much anyways … so the baby need to feed often since his stomach is very tiny too … with my kid it seemed at that time I was feeding her almost every hour with few mins of break it was hard- very hard – but then things became easy after few weeks :> and latching takes time … i dont know how long u tried but for me it did take good3-4 weeks and two times mastitis but thanksfully after this tough time it went on very well 🙂

as for feeling like a zombie .. no guilt please … thats a tough start-off time and one should essentially feel like one 🙂 I did too .. hehe

in the end if the kid is happy and growing up healthy then thats what we want .. :>

all the best … whining is essential too

10 12 2010
whinymom

Welcome Asma,

I did start off formula in the first week for the night since im a working mom and had to get E ready for both milks. I eventually completely weaned him off at 7 months.

The Zombie feeling kind of continues the rest of baby’s toddler life 😀 so getting used to it is the best bet

8 10 2012
Darcy Cerney

Skin doctors are really needed to properly diagnose and treat most of our skin conditions. *,'”:

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