Depressive week not over yet

28 09 2010

Hubby and I had a HUGE fight last night. Correction, early morning! At 3:00 AM.

Sorry for the extremely descriptive post but I can’t help it. As evident from my previous post, I haven’t been in the best of moods since quite a few days. Would you believe we haven’t done the deed in more then a month and we’ve been married for what like 4 years!! I don’t even remember when I did it last and I don’t miss it either! I don’t know if it’s just me or if other working mothers feel the same way too but have I lost interest in it or am I just tired?? Love birds are a DISTANT term for us. But anyways that is not the point of this post but I just wanted to show that we’ve been strained since a while.

Since stopping E’s Anti allergic, he’s been getting up at approx 2-2:30 am every night crying and ends up Screaming when we try to soothe him. He wants to hold on to our earlobes while he’s trying to put himself to sleep and then pulls and when we try to put his hands on his ears, he screams. Last night he repeated the same thing and after trying for 30 minutes, I ssssshhhhd him a little loudly when he started crying. This made the hubby mad as he was already up. He asked me should I get milk, I said no, it may be gas so I’ll just give him some gripe water to which hubby got exasperated and said “Do you enjoy hearing E crying like this?” Can you ever ask this kind of a question from a mother? Can you? I didn’t say anything then and gave E some gripe water and rocked and sang him to sleep.

Went outside the room to the stairs and cried and cried till I had no tears left. I was so shocked by what he said that I didn’t want to stay in the same room with him. I hated him so much in that one second that I wanted to give up trying to work this relationship. I couldn’t understand for the life of me why he would let E come between us like this. Why would someone say such hurtful things in the middle of the night because the boy was up screaming? He thinks that the solution to E’s entire problem is giving him a bottle of milk, or getting him to sleep in the middle. If he would not have slept after rocking, I’d have put him to sleep beside me. But shouting out like that scares me and the baby, both for different reasons.

I don’t know what’s gotten in him or rather what’s gotten in us. We’ve lost respect for each other; we are more impatient with dealing with each other as well as E. We hardly talk when we get home. I end up sleeping early while putting him to sleep and he stays up till late. We hardly cuddle while sleeping as I’m mostly asleep by the time he comes.

I have a huge lump in my throat while writing all this.

After about half and hour E cried again and hubby put him back to sleep. He came out to me while I was crying and said he was sorry and hugged me tight. Said he was very sorry for what he said, took me to the room and put me to bed and patted me like we do to E till I fell asleep.

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8 responses

28 09 2010
s.s

I could relate to it little. My little one has allergy since 3months old (she is two now). She wakes up every night and me and my husband pat her, put cream, massage her, give milk put her to sleep. It might take between 12 min to 1 hour. I and my husband work full time and we do not use any medicine on her as it wasn’t effective and the side affect. We watched what we give her but she still gets up. It is very stressful time for us dear husband talked very strangely say mean things when he is up. He never apologizes. But in the morning he will be normal. I realized he is talking crazy because “ he is sleep deprived”. So I found a solution please go sleep in the other room. Now I and the baby in the same room whenever she wakes up I do whatever I can to put her to sleep. Surprisingly, she is going back to sleep sooner because daddy is not there to spoil her. Dear husband is happy he gets good night sleep. Even before when he is up helping me, he doesn’t let me sleep only shout and name calling as “what did u feed the child? Ect.

Therefore, do the favors take care of the child all by yourself, don’t ask for help at night. It might be an old fashion advice but it work for me, everyone is happy now. I also has 6 years old happy healthy girl. I always wonder why God is testing me but I will do anything to take care of my child. Surprisingly I have not slept more than 4-5 hours for 2 years, but I am used to it. I hope u learn from my story. Do the blood tests find out what he is allergic to and avoid all the process food U will be all right hug.

29 09 2010
whinymom

Thanks a lot SS. I wish I could visit your blog too. Thankfully it doesnt happen every night and I feel the same way if you need to get some sleep, sleep in another room but he wants to pitch in. But i really think that what you’ve said is very right and would try it if the allergies strike again..
Thanks and Hugs!

29 09 2010
Nuttie Natters

Hey WM…no advice but i hope tihngs are better soon…Hugs babe!

3 10 2010
Trish

Heyy WM, hugs..
sometimes things get rough and everything seems bad..infact worse than it is..WE’ve been there too… things are harder when the kids seem to be with all the way upto we go to bed..atleast thats how it was with us..we didnt get a single moment with each other.I didn’t get a single moment alone..and soo naturally,there was a lot of fighting..n no inclination towards ‘the deed’.. if u are feeling low,take some time off..go for a walk,or gym or spa.. only when u are happy,u can be happy with them.
when u are refreshed,schedule(yes u read it right) some couple time..even if that means,just going out for coffee..or sharing a bowl of popcorn,after E is in bed..:)
Hugs,babe..hang in there..it will get better..really..

4 10 2010
whinymom

Thanks Trish! Its much better now… Thank God! This time without the In laws its gotten extremely difficult with being with eshan all of our Non office time… But we’ve reached our peace now… And the DEED 😉

4 10 2010
avymom

hey just saw this post today been so busy. Hope thinsg are better now. Try and get a blood test done and avoid all those foods. It works like magic for my son and he is sleeping all night without waking up.

To get good sleep, i agree with the seperate room thing. We both take turns, I keep him one night, while hubby sleeps in a diff room and I sleep in a different room one night, so we both are calm.

Sleep deprivation brings out the worst in people!
Take care!

5 10 2010
whinymom

Thanks Avy and yea you’re right…! IT does bring out the worst in us..! We’re doing much better now… Thanks!

14 10 2010
Deepa

Hey WM,

Hope E’s back to form now…….why no posts in a while?

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