not interested

18 03 2011

I’m about to write on a very sensitive topic which has been on my mind since almost a year now. At first I didn’t want to admit it and thought that if I stopped thinking about it, it would solve the problem but to no avail. The problem is increasing with each day.
I’ve stopped enjoying physical intimacy with the hubby since a year after E’s birth. Initially it was due to the tiring routine and the lack of sleep. Now thankfully, the sleep problem is resolved, not completely but is a lot more predictable. Still, I DON’T enjoy it. I have never talked openly about it to hubby but I feel that even he sometimes understands that I’m not into it. During it once a month also seems like a chore. The sleep before he comes in the room and that gives me an excuse not to do it. Yesterday night, I tried so hard to fake it, in the middle I think even he figured out that I just wanted to get it over with but somehow we both got off. I really don’t want to hurt him and he’s so sweet that he never pressurizes me or forces me in it, Mashallah but I feel that I’m not keeping my part of the bargain. I feel so guilty for him that he has to wait for so many weeks before we do it and that too I hurry it up.
I’m sorry for talking on this subject which might seem silly to many and many might not accept but I really needed to get it off my head my chest. I don’t know what to do, is it just pregnancy or am I loosing interest in him? What is it? Help please.


My kid is a BOY!

11 03 2011

My boy is turning out to be BOY after all… We have recently started letting him watch movies with us on weekends when he does not have daycare the other day. I know many people don’t appreciate it, but my point is that if he lies there with us watching the movie and falls asleep in between where we pick him and put it in his cot. I prefer this as opposed to trying to put him to sleep before starting the movie and in the process get too sleepy and not watching the movie at all. Suits me!
Anyways, so last weekend we watched the movie houseful (actually hubby and I had watched that movie but we wanted to have some senseless laughs once more as we both LUUUUURVE akshay) and what do you know, E was ogling at the half naked ladies in there silly songs and the next morning he started fresh with “Im-a-Joaaaaaking”, complete with the shrug!! Such a rattoo Totta he is!

On teaching E not to pick a fight!

10 03 2011

Narrated to me by Hubby:

Hubby and E are up in the room getting E getting for sleepy time. Hubby, in all his wisdom is doing nothing to fasten the process of getting E changed in his PJs rather is doing everything to get his son HYPER! Hubby playfully smacks (a light one that is) E on his tummy and guess what E’s reaction is?

His eyes take on a surprised and mean glint and he goes “Oye, Maarraaaa? ” (Hey, Hitting?) in the typical goonda kind of a tone who’s about to pick up a fight!

*** Whinymom Bangs her head and think what am I teaching my kid!***

Nausea accompanied with negativity

3 03 2011

Where does it say on Baby sites that morning sickness will be accompanied by negativity and pessimism? I seem to be overreacting on EVERYTHING! I seem to be ticked off at everything and everyone! I’m so selfish and sick of myself. Everything the MIL does or says seems to tick me off. Even such a small thing like her telling us that we have reduced E’s milk intake and he might have calcium deficiency got me off the mark. I managed to have a normal convo about it but then seemed to blast off at hubby for wanting to watch the MATCH! And the poor guy didn’t even know the background to it.
The truth is that I shamefully have to admit that I don’t like having her run the house. Since she has been back, she just doesn’t seem the same. Staying with her daughters has that effect on her? I’ve been having minimal talks and time with her due to the reason that I don’t feel like it. Plus to add to the fact that I miss my home like anything and hubby says this time and again that since I AM back from my hometown, I seemed to be getting edgy at everything.
Everything seems to magnify itself with the thought that after a few months I’ll have to be home ALL THE TIME and its driving me insane just thinking about it. Damn, I’m being so ungrateful. I’m conveniently forgetting the fact that she literally took care of E alone for his initial 1.5 years.
My outlook to life and things have changed.

Not feeling well

1 03 2011

I realize I’ve been very, very, VERY irregular in my posting. Thanks a lot to y’all for your good wishes. I’m due Mid October and that’s a LONG time to go and I hate this initial phase of nausea. It seems like the end of the world because nothing like this happened at E’s time! Plus the in laws were in USA at that time and I didn’t feel too tired even then. God’s getting back to me this time around. Plus to add to the fact, I have a terrible Flu and can’t even take medications. Even E has a bad cough and the winter just does not want to go  I hate winters!
Anyways, since coming back from my hometown, E had been behaving well, even at daycare. All that time spent with me did him good. He had started listening to me and stopped when told not to. I also realized that he was feeling very neglected with going to full day daycare and us not being able to give him quality time at home and resorting to shouting and hitting to discipline him. I’m ashamed of myself.
Since coming back, he gets less of our time and has started his antics again. We finally changed his daycare timings to half day since the MIL is home now so he gets the best of both worlds. I hope that affects the behavior now.
Other then that, I keep on reinforcing to E that there is a baby in Mama’s tummy so be careful but he seems to be getting more and more aggressive with his behavior and hits back on the tummy. I need to cut him some slack, he just turned 2!
Also I tried to bring him on a Sippy cup while I was at my parents’(Yea he STILL takes a bottle) and was only 5 % successful but then he started taking less and less milk so I got rid of the idea. I guess its not the end of the world if he takes milk in his feeder! I just need to make sure that he takes his meals and enough milk in the day. I don’t need to add any more stress to my life.
On the work front, I’m thinking a lot on what I want to do after baby 2 comes. The MIL jokingly said that I should stay home after baby 2. This was the day I just got back and I was in a very sad mood. I really do feel that the MIL’s age and her hand condition (her left palm has only 1 finger which put all the pressure on the other hand and now the shoulder blades are experiencing a lot of pain) does not allow her to take care of 2 kids. Personally, I think that maybe she was jokingly suggesting what she wants. It’s a whole new ball game after 2 kids. Plus the in laws would be going again to the USA when the baby is Inshallah 1 year so don’t want to go through that ordeal of sending 2 kids to daycare. Thinking a lot around these lines and then I think that its so far away that I’d better leave all this thinking to later.