not interested

18 03 2011

I’m about to write on a very sensitive topic which has been on my mind since almost a year now. At first I didn’t want to admit it and thought that if I stopped thinking about it, it would solve the problem but to no avail. The problem is increasing with each day.
I’ve stopped enjoying physical intimacy with the hubby since a year after E’s birth. Initially it was due to the tiring routine and the lack of sleep. Now thankfully, the sleep problem is resolved, not completely but is a lot more predictable. Still, I DON’T enjoy it. I have never talked openly about it to hubby but I feel that even he sometimes understands that I’m not into it. During it once a month also seems like a chore. The sleep before he comes in the room and that gives me an excuse not to do it. Yesterday night, I tried so hard to fake it, in the middle I think even he figured out that I just wanted to get it over with but somehow we both got off. I really don’t want to hurt him and he’s so sweet that he never pressurizes me or forces me in it, Mashallah but I feel that I’m not keeping my part of the bargain. I feel so guilty for him that he has to wait for so many weeks before we do it and that too I hurry it up.
I’m sorry for talking on this subject which might seem silly to many and many might not accept but I really needed to get it off my head my chest. I don’t know what to do, is it just pregnancy or am I loosing interest in him? What is it? Help please.

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5 responses

18 03 2011
S

Don’t worry its definitely coz of the stress, as a mom we tempt to take all stress on us, but dad’s are cool with most of the aspects, even if they worry they don’t stress out like us.

Also you are expecting so your body may not be interested. Wait for some more time till you are little relaxed.

But its true in my case also that the no of time we make is very less before the kid days. Also the sleep, other stress, working late hrs etc added to it. I think you are perfectly ok with ur feelings, if you are comfortable discuss with ur hubby, I am sure he will understand. Its better to speak up these than keeping mm..

31 03 2011
Divs

Wow – you are preggie with your second? That’s great! (My first time to your blog so just discovered these facts). Ofcourse that’s why you are not into sex. Your hormones and body are going through a lot…give it time. And do talk to your hubby about it – you will feel much better that way. Good luck!

31 03 2011
whinymom

Thanks a lot Divs and Welcome!

1 04 2011
momofrs

Hey dear, what you feel is nothing new.Don’t blame yourself.
Its the hormones. Being pregnant does that to women!
Also, you’ve been busy bringing up a toddler. This activity is tiring enough for any woman to shirk the responsibilities of the marital bed.
BUT. You have an understanding husband and that is something you have to be grateful for 🙂
God knows, not many women get away with turning their backs on their men!
Give yourself some time.
InshaAllah, things will get better down the line 🙂

1 04 2011
whinymom

Oh God I’m so grateful for an understanding Husband Alhamdulillah… and yea this too shall pass!

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