SAHM OR WOHM

4 04 2011

I’m torn between the decision to stay at home after the baby and continuing to work. These are the things running in my head;
1. The MIL has severe pain in her arm and we’ve been taking her to the doctors frequently now but it’s the age factor and lack of calcium and not much can be done about it. I feel guilty just thinking of leaving it all on MIL when she’s in so much pain and look what may but even though the infant is on bed most of the time, it’s still a lot of work.
2. When I’m entertaining the thought of staying at home, then the hubby tells me don’t start eating my brain when you are not going to work and then the decision would be final and there would be no way of going Ctrl+Z (yea he’s really supportive like that#$@#$!!!).
3. I keep thinking I would be loosing part of my identity and then would I have enough in my hands to keep me full the whole day?
4. It’s a 24/7 job with no leaves and no half days. I’d have no one to talk to other then MIL and E.
5. On the up side, I think I won’t have to go through the initial stress of leaving behind an infant for full time work. (Part time work is just schooling which I just don’t have the patience to deal with AT ALL). Plus I won’t have to juggle the career with kids.
6. I do however plan to start work after a 1.5 or 2 years gap when the kids would Inshallah be 2 and 5! So what harm can a little break cause?
7. The biggest UP is that E will feel less insecure with my being at home since he’s bound to be jealous from the baby and would want E time with Mamma.
Not matter how many ups and down I see but I know I’ll have to make this decision based on my personal choice and will have to STICK with it!

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4 responses

4 04 2011
Seena

I know its very tough decision. I still go through it very often. Seeing the stress in our life, I feel I should be a SAHM but same time job gives my own identity. So I choose to be a working Mom.

Can you have a nanny at home and your MIL can monitor, so that you are not burdening her too much? or is there an option like child care outside home? I would still recommend you to work if possible. But the decision is of course yours.

5 04 2011
momofrs

I agree with Seena.
Thats what I did. since my MIL is also working, we have only the granny at home. So we hired a nanny and the gran just keeps an eye on her and instructs her how to look after the babies.
Worked for me alright.
Give it a try. This way, you can continue with your job, be guilt-free of burdening the MIL and also make sure your kids are looked after at home (rather than a day-care)
But the idea of a 2-year break sounds good too 🙂
In fact, keep a nanny even if you are on a break. I swear you would need some ‘me-time’ after the second one arrives.
InshaAllah, things will work out when the time comes.
God Bless 🙂

6 04 2011
whinymom

Hey Noor,
I wish my MIL would have said the same thing too but instead she said to continue for a few months and then leave after the baby comes in 😀 lol
Yes the idea of nanny is on my mind even on the break Thanks! 🙂

5 04 2011
Nidhi

hey,

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