mere baba kidher gaey! “where has my dad gone?”

16 05 2011

I feel so blank looking at this blank screen but enough of procrastination and let’s get on with one of E’s post.
E is turning into such a darling Mashallah… Every day I discover something new about his personality and fall in love with him even more. He has become such a chatterbox, literally gives us an update /report on what went on his day. Our favorite quote of E is “Mere baba kidher hain?” full on with his questioning eyes it cracks us to no end. He has memorized each and every rhythm in his rhythm book by heart and in the exact sequence it’s written. He’s half way through potty training. And I can’t even begin to start writing about our potty conversations with bring the office down with our laughter.

When I was pregnant with E, I wanted a girl and was a tad bit disappointed hearing I was having a boy. Then he was born, I just couldn’t feel that instant BOND for him. Everything I did for him was a duty. I didn’t enjoy it, I was just baring it. For 2 whole years!!

Just a few months back when I spanked and shouted at him thrice in a row to go to sleep, I realized that he will not always be a kid; he will not always be a baby and will never need you as much as he needs you right now. From that day onwards, I fell in love with my baby boy and BOY does he know how to love back or WHAT!! Greeting me with a hug and kiss when I return home to insisting sitting on my lap in the car to asking to sleep on my shoulder, I’m having the time of my life!

Sure, I still have my bad days but am able to stop and think this too shall pass and can’t resist my boys’ hugs.
Baba is gone outstation for a meeting for 3 days and hoping to survive 2 nights without his favorite baba!  Fingers crossed


pure whine

9 05 2011

I have seriously started HATING facebook! I barely write to a bunch of few people and the rest are only there to prove to me what a boring life I have! Vacationing in exotic locations and all, I feel “did I jump in the mommy bandwagon too soon?”.
Yea, go on thinking im a bad mommy… if im a bad mommy so be it but i have my days of self doubt and this is one of those days.

The thing is that now even if the hubby does tell me (Pre pregnancy 2 that is) that lets leave E with grandparents and go, I cant convince myself to leave him… when will this guilt leave me?

Look on the positive side, what have we achieved since we got married?

We have managed to pay off the home loan
Payed off the Car lease for the small car
Popped Baby E!
Bought a brand new bigger car “Lease free”
Sold our existing house and bought a smaller plot in a very good area
Made Baby 2.
Currently the house is under construction and the move would inshallah coincide with baby 2!

Am being too unreasonable right? I have so many things to be grateful for but then there are DAYS such as these when nothing seems great.. I should just shut up and get on with life!