Time is flying

21 06 2011

There is something very disturbing in the way your 2.5 year old is SOMETIMES quiet and lost. Even more disturbing is the after math! Upon query of “Kya hua beta?” he replies “Kuch nahin”! Gosh I cant seem to hold onto time. My boy is growing up too soon.

The SIL and her kids are going in 4-5 days. The kids are still causing a riot but when SIL’s daughter is not home and E is alone, he is not only the SWEETEST and NICEST boy, but is also awfully quiet and clingy. I’m loving and hating his moods then… I’m an eternally ungrateful person!

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what mommyhood taught me

14 06 2011

Finally taking up this tag by
ObsessiveMom

5 things that Motherhood has taught me:
1. Patience: Yes, I’m trying my best to get better at it. Be it trying to control my hand when E hits me or trying to resist scolding and shouting at him when he’s taking a long time finishing his food.
2. Ignorance: I’ve learnt that when people comment on what you should and should not do to/with your kids, its best to ignore than to get on in useless arguments.
3. Routine: I’ve learnt that I being one to never remain on a routine and go on endless late nighters by talking and watching TV now get scared of NOT being in a routine. Even on vacation I try to make E stick to his routine to make our lives better. Late nights can take a hike till the kids start sleeping on their own!
4. Multitask: I’ve learnt that it’s not too difficult to soothe a crying baby on one hand and finish cooking and ironing with the other hand. It’s also too difficult to remember to do 100 things for your kids when you usually have a bad memory when it comes to self or spouse.
5. Respect for parents: I never had a great relationship with my mom. Dad, I love to bits. Its after having E that I developed renewed respect for my folks. I salute Y’all
6. One additional factor: I’ve gotten more emotional since becoming a parent and I can easily shed a tear or two when I hear of something happening to kids and/ or parents

I see almost everyone in my list is tagged so all you readers consider yourself tagged and please take it up!





weekend cribbing…

14 06 2011

Too much to write about this weekend. One day before weekend that is. I’m sorry but I’ll just bullet post it. This is a VERY long post mostly cribbing and whining so feel free to hit cross. I just had to vent it here.

• I had a long talk with Hubby about things at home and his behavior with MIL and SIL. I had this 30 something minute conversation on the cell with hubby since we don’t spend any time talking to each other at home. I told him that MIL and SIL are complaining about you temper and behavior to me. They know I will eventually tell you about it and the message will get through. I told him point blank that I don’t like the way SIL is bringing up her daughter but hitting and shouting and hurling abuses at her for 5 year olds tantrums. Heck she even shouts at her 6 month old during meal times who is always smiling and being a baby. BUT I don’t comment on it, nor do I preach about how to bring her kids up since I am no expert in that as I’m still learning. The only pity I feel is that MIL also doesn’t say much to her. I know if I do this at my parents’, they would only tolerate it for a day or two and then tell me to zip up and be a parent and let E be a baby. I also told Hubby that it is only MIL who can say something, not He or I. I told him that times have changed since the time they were kids and Hubby used to boss around SIL. Now when he tries to scold her, she shouts back in a nasty way which none of us appreciate since well times have changed for all of us. He also told me a few things which I need to fix at home in the sense that I need to stay out of most of MIL/SIL issues. I need to be more nonchalant about many things and let them plan and decide most things on their own rather then being the one to initiate plans for them. I told hubby that he has become a grouchy old man and he needs to be a little softer at home.
• I’ve crossed the 5th month of pregnancy and handling tantrums at home is getting on my nerves, combined with pregnancy hormones. I really want a vacation; just don’t know when and how.
• On Friday E slipped during bath and his teeth cut his lips. SIL was giving him a bath and left to get the towel and that’s when it happened. On seeing E’s blood she was crying and apologizing, not that it was needed since it could’ve happened to him anyways knowing the hyper E! Hubby had gone home to drop E and this happened, after which the MIL tried to apply sugar to it but he would let anyone touch it. Hubby called me as he was getting out for office again after lunch and told me what happened. I generally don’t OVER REACT in a Hollywood mother kind of a way in such a scenario. I calmly called MIL and asked how is E? They said he is sleeping. I calmly asked do we need to put any ointment or medicine on it which I can bring on my way back from work, she (the MIL) overreacted and said NO need, only sugar needs to put. She went on saying again and again and that he is perfectly fine and is sleeping and “Sirf cheeni hi lagatey hain”. I said fine and she banged the phone on me.
This weekend, E developed an infection on his lip and is currently on Antibiotics for healing it.
• On Saturday, we all decided to take all the kids for a checkup and especially show E for his lips and plus E’s been having slight fever since a week which goes up to max 101 and then gets normal again. Call me a bad mum; it didn’t even occur to me that he might be showing signs of malaria. When hubby came home, E was his usual self and had no temp and hubby said to leave it, we don’t need to take him to the doctor. I said fine.
• The only good part, Saturday night we ALL were invited to a wedding where SIL refused to come along, MIL said the same thing, FIL wasn’t feeling well. I told Hubby I WANT to go out with him and E and spend some quality time with them. It turned out great, it was raining cats and dogs and the weather gave us much respite from the hot and humid days, we got out late for the wedding, enjoyed the cool air while E slept. In the wedding hall, very few people turned up due to the heavy rain so it was not too crowded and we had a lot of fun. After getting out from the wedding, myself, hubby and E started racing on the side space they have out side the hall so more fun added to it. As we got in car, E started getting feverish again. When we reached home, I gave E some Calpol to get him through the night on which SIL taunted, in a joking way, albeit a taunt, Hubby that “Aisa nahin k bacche ko doctor ke pass le jao, chal diye ho shadi pe”. I know very well if hubby had taken it seriously and commented back, it wouldn’t have been a great scene.
• Sunday: had sort of a row with FIL where I told him I need the other car on Monday morning to take E to the doctor and get him checked for a possible malaria and he refused saying he had work till 11-12 pm which was too late for me. I wasn’t direct but gave him the message that E’s health is important and cannot be ignored anymore, ALL in front of hubby, who stayed quite. Hubby then told me he would take the next day’s first half off and take us ALL (Myself, E, SIL, her 2 daughters and MIL) to the doctor.
• The plan to go to doctor was fixed at 9:30 am as there is always an hour long waiting at this particular doctor. Hubby, on our way back from dinner on Sunday night, told all in the car that we need to be out by 9:30 am. The SIL was talking softly that her kids (Read: her kids AND herself) are not up by that time and when they are up their breakfast needs time. She was telling all this to MIL in a hushed tone. She could’ve told hubby right then and there that she won’t come so early but she didn’t and hubby even after hearing this acted like he did not hear it. Morning came and we were up and as expected it was dark for all the other at home. MIL still got up and ready to come with us but then hubby told her to stay home and we’ll take E to the doctor. I suspect that MIL did not appreciate it but then we can’t keep everyone happy. SIL not only did not come with us, she didn’t even have the courtesy to let us know that they won’t be coming. She has been cribbing about taking her kids to this doctor since the day she came and ALWAYS complains of the CAR not being available. {We live pretty far from the main city and thus its not possible for the car to stay at home since its needed to pick E up and then FIL sits at our shop which constantly needs the car for picking and dropping supplies}. When we got back home, as expected, everyone was showing an attitude and I stayed nonchalant. Told MIL what the doc said when she didn’t even ask and hubby was in the kitchen then and saw MIL’s expressions quite clearly but didn’t say anything, neither did I. SIL then said she wants to reschedule her flight to one week BEFORE the planned date. Neither I, nor hubby protested and booked it. When hubby asked her why she wants to leave before, she said her hubby is alone there, we said fine, suit yourself.
I don’t think I have it in me to write any further.





Weekend snippets

6 06 2011

As I previously mentioned the SIL is here with her kids and with E and the elder daughter of SIL fighting almost continuously, its getting pretty hard for us to actually function with the 2 of them home. It’s such a blessing that E leaves for daycare with us and comes home sleeping by 2:00 pm and wakes up in the evening. This leaves about 5-6 remaining hours for us to be taking care of both of them. The infant is so conveniently being ignored here with the 2 kids getting all the attention. It’s so great that she doesn’t understand all this sibling rivalry yet! I’m ashamed to admit that I have to resort to hitting again to condemn E’s behavior and I HATE IT! I promised myself that I wouldn’t spank him but I’ve tried scaring, scolding, shouting and giving him timeouts (He still does not understand it)! I spend all my time after work with E giving him the special attention but I don’t know what gets in him when he’s in the kids’ company. Terrible Twos mixed with Sibling Rivalry, A DEADLY COMBO I tell you! So to say that going back him is stressful is an understating!
Another thing I’ve noticed since SIL’s arrival is that Hubby seems to have taken a back seat in the sense that he’s gotten quiet when it should’ve been the other way around. I personally never had a GREAT relationship with my elder brother so it’s always a pleasant surprise when he does something out of the way for me. But Hubby and SIL have always been more attached and I feel sad looking at him like this.
Many contributing factors to all this is that MIL and SIL talk EVERY FREAKING DAY and God only knows what they talk about.
The fact that I or Hubby hasn’t called SIL in a week ticks off MIL and she becomes way to quiet to show us her displeasure till both of us have asked her “Haal Chaal”. Lady, don’t you see the mad rush we are in every single day! Anyways, not too much of an issue.
Another fact is that SIL has her different way of parenting and hubby has it different and when he protests on something SIL does with her kid seems to tick her off and she retorts back. Thankfully, MIL stays quiet. I’m trying to make him understand that nobody likes to be judged on their parenting style or their lifestyle so let her be.
There have been instances where hubby has commented to MIL about SIL (For her well being) which she has taken negatively and this has turned off hubby in being to friendly or being too open with them. Last night, MIL commented to me that hubby has not been in a good mood since morning and I went like acha? When I spoke to hubby about it, he said he has just becomes reserved about his comments and his observations…. I know I don’t like him being like this and MIL and SIL will both notice it for sure but I guess this is for her peaceful stay only.





Temper

1 06 2011

I went through an incident worth noting here. Last night took E to the Community center and as usual he would not sit still for a minute so took him in the baby room where not so baby friendly things are kept, since its not ACTUALLY a baby room. It has 2 PCs kept there and E was playing with them and then he went out when a lady comes there with 2 boys, one must be 5 years and other a 6 – 8 month old. When E came back to that room, the 5 year was on one of the computers (P.S.: Both the PCs were NOT in working condition.) As is E’s nature, he went to the PC where that kid was playing and I gently told E to use the other system but he was stubborn to stick to it. Then after a while the MOTHER told the 5 yr old to use the other system. The kid went there but BOY OH BOY IN WHAT RAGE! I could see fire coming out of that kids eyes. He pulled out the keyboard drawer with all his might and then pushed it again just to show his anger. The kid then went out of the room in his anger and I was looking at the MOTHER and the KID *WIDE EYED*. E went after him and the boy returned running like a GUNDA, his fist and jaws clenched and pure rage in his eyes and I told the mother “Itna gussa?””So much anger?” and she goes like “Yeh gussey ka thora tez hai””Yes, he tends to get a little TOO angry”. Is it just me or is this shocking for anyone else too. I bet if E were alone, the kid would have surely hit him badly looking at his reaction.

This incident left me shocked and stunned! Should a kid this young be indulged when he gets THIS angry? Your views please.

In another news, the SIL and her kids are here and boy or boy, are we having a party or what! E has gotten so possessive and insecure. He has also started his negative behavior of hitting and spitting to get our attention. We’ve tried everything in the book but he just continues it. Whenever he is alone with us, he is the sweetest boy but when in company of the cousins, it’s like some devil has comes over him. Plus his diet is also getting affected by it. He barely finished half of his dinner. Whenever he does not eat well, I tend to take things on my head and completely loose it. Right now looking at E’s jealousy, I was tell Hubby, are you sure we didn’t hurry in deciding to bring baby 2? How will we manage when we are barely able to manage E! we are so low on patience!!