im back!

30 11 2011

A turns 1.5 months and its been a tough journey with his mild colic. its truly tough handling 2 kids that somedays i dont even get loo breaks. just today A and E are both asleep and im getting to do this update.
the depression is thankfully better now as mil is taking care of A when i need to put E to sleep and feed him his food else I was getting depressed being in a room. for the time being Hubby sleeps with E and mil and i sleep with A but she’s the one taking care of A so i get my sleep. im truly blessed Alhamdulillah.
A’s been a little colicky since day 1 and after 8-9 pm he would keep on crying till midnight for no reason and it would unnverve us to no end. on top of that E’s jealousy has been increasing but its only natural.
Everytime i find myself crying and getting depressed, i tell myself A wont be an infant forever and this too shall pass. i will inshallah join work in another 2 months, and we’ll be shifting to our new place in another 2 weeks so it will trully be a new begining. thankyou all for your wishes.


1 week update

18 10 2011

I wish I could say that im lovin’ it but…! the depression has set in really quickly. what with E showing all the traditional signs of getting ill and not eating well and whining and crying for everything. The sleepless nights and trying to handle E with equal energy is taking a toll on me. God please give me enough energy to be a better mom to my 2 boys… and help me find some semblence…
A is doing well, and he’s a well behaved baby till now Shuker!

Catching up…

21 02 2011

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote but just did not feel like updating. Today is my first day back at work after 2 weeks of leave and I’m up for an update.
I went to see my folks out of city for a short period of 2 weeks and it was BLISS. I tried to rest but E kept on getting clingy and restless. My bro and bhabhi had a baby boy so I spent loads of time with them and with folks at home. Hardly went out and mostly spent the time bonding. Spending the time with E for a whole 2 weeks also made me realize that my being home makes such a difference on him, but then he was missing his baba loads. Don’t know if the difference is coz of age or my staying but I love the Mama’s Boy!
There were crazy fights there and I managed to survive all. But most of all, I managed to spend quality time with my parents.
It’s a short update and I’ll be back for more…
PS: I’m Pregnant! 😀

Check this out!

4 01 2011

According to
Mom who likes to whine
Text analysis is probably written by a female somewhere between 66-100 years old. The writing style is personal and upset most of the time.


long time no see

14 09 2010

It’s been so long since I wrote a post. It’s a shame I’ve been ignoring the blog but I really got into a very tight routine due to Ramadan. Now that eid is done with we’ll be getting back to our same old routine. Had a blast in eid, went for dawats for 3 whole days. In fact now we’re tired of eating out.

Oh it’s my birthday today! I turn 27! Yeayyy!

My boy looked so good on eid day Mashallah in a White Shalwar Kameez, Mashallah… Overall it was a good 4 days of vacation

Mommy Guilt

23 06 2010

Read a lot about the Mommy guilt contest and a lot of entries as well. Even though I am not an Indian but it just felt like a good topic to write on.

I am intrinsically a very guilty person, and it’s as easy as ABC to make me feel like shit. Come to think of it, it started when we started our attempts at trying to conceive when it took us a good 6 months of trying to get me pregnant. Everything I did from there can be categorized as guilty.

When E was born, he had to be taken out by vacuum when even the forceps failed.

Guilt: I didn’t try enough to push him out generally.

When trying to feed and one nipple was flat, he was unable to latch on.

Guilt: Everyone can do it, even animals can and I can’t even provide the basics to my child

While trying to unsuccessfully swaddle him, give him a bath, clean him or put him to sleep and would see MIL go through it effortlessly and be the supermom when I’m the actual “Mom”

Guilt:  if she can do it then what’s wrong with me? Why do I need so much rest and why am I feeling like am walking like a zombie in the first few months

While giving him formula very early on and still having loads of milk in the boobs and having to pump it day and night and he’d still be howling all day while he is on my feed:

Guilt: What use is all this milk if I cant even get him to latch on to me. I don’t even know if it’s enough for him or not

When going back to work after 3 months off of my maternity leave

Guilty: I’m such a bad mom that I’m leaving my baby to the MIL and going OUT to have a great time away from my baby.

When ever I take him to the doctor and he has to take antibiotics for treatment and the MIL frowns that the Antibiotics are killing the child

Guilt: Am I really doing the right thing

When ever he has an allergy outburst due to his eczema and has that itchy rash all over.

Guilt: I must have done something wrong or didn’t give him enough feed to fight infections.

Recently when I have to send him to the day care as in laws would be travelling

Guilt: How can I leave my baby to be cared by strangers? L

The list is endless and even when I know what I’m feeling guilty is useless and is NOT in my control, I still feel helpless and end up feeling guilty.

Pointless post

14 06 2010

Hubby is out of town for office work and he’ll be gone for 3 days, and the worst part is he will be meeting my folks and I wont  I wish niece had stayed while he was gone to keep me company.
I’m really sad. Plus, I have also not been too well. I have flu and had fever all through Friday. Suffice it to say that I survived the weekend with an energetic toddler MA.
The worst part about hubby not being in town is bearing MIL’s sulking face alone. She’s still not well but when I do try to show my concern and give her medicine, she is expressionless and nonchalant about it. And I end up hating myself for even trying. I guess the best thing to do is to be quiet and get through this time without any harm.
It’s a totally pointless post, just wanted to vent. Pray for me!