Daycare Dairies – the original post

I finally went to check out the daycare centers around my office vicinity. I know it’s too early to even be checking them out but I worry too much. I just had to check for my self and put my mind at ease. I keep getting scared thinking the horror stories of what they could do to my kid. That’s why I paid a surprise visit to the one nearest to my office. It’s a 10 minutes drive and the place is VERY secure. It took a while getting there but eventually reached the center. After that they showed me around the rooms. It was a small and simple setup with not a lot of kids. The total strength they said was 19 and they’ve got 3 maids and 2 supervisors. The cost was also reasonable. They had a TV set and a small play area outside as well as inside. Overall, it was a simple setup with nothing fancy and good to go. We asked for the formalities that would need to be done and got back in car. My heart felt at ease as I could imagine E at this place.

At that time I had a random thought that I have another daycare center’s address and I asked Hubby how about we visit that one as well. He said it’s a little far but let’s go. Indeed it was like 20 minutes away from my office but we did find it. It was a 2 storey bungalow with the day care upstairs and my, what a center it was. It was a total Montessori setup and the place was fully carpeted with Loads of Montessori material. There was 2 toddlers roaming around and it had the total strength of 9 kids so far with 3 staff out of which one was a supervisor. I really liked it and was very impressed with the materials since I know E loves colorful things. It was really cool and it had a typical learning atmosphere. We thanked her and got back in the car.

Hubby and I looked at each other and said what do we do? I loved this place but it’s so far away that it’s so not fair for E to be out travelling for such a long time. Plus my office timings have changed now so I have to reach half an hour earlier as it is.

The first one was at a very safe place and it was a simple one and it’s comparatively closer to my office. The other one is farther but has a typical preschool material and environment. Any pointers?

Random thoughts for E

These were some of the random thoughts I had been pondering upon since getting back from the day care searches.

Day Care

Pros:

• They are specifically there for this purpose
• I can make surprise visits to the place

Cons:

• Horror stories of what they can feed my kid
• How they would be changing my kids’ habits
• E would have to wake up so early to be fed breakfast and that would disturb his overall routine
• His food will be cooked a night before

Maid

Pros:

• My kid gets to stay at home not disrupting his routine
• His food will be cooked fresh

Cons:

• I cannot make surprise visits as my house is very far from the office
• My current maid takes off very frequently

Leave the job and be a SAHM

Pros:

• I can be there for my child
• His food will be cooked fresh
• No disruption in his current routine

Cons:

• What happens when the 4 months are over? I get depressed staying at home when MIL is running around like she usually does
• It would effect us in financial terms as we have yet to pay off the home loan to the friends we borrowed it from

Send the kid with the Grandparents

Pros:

• Nothing better then that

Cons:

• E is not their responsibility. It would be wrong if I expect them to tag along E wherever they go

Call my mom for 4 months

Pros:

• She is my mom and of course she’s used to E’s routine

Cons:

• It’s not practical
• My bhabhi is not as accommodating as I am in sending the MIL to see her Daughter for so many months. My mom would have a problem when she gets back there.

Daycare Diaries

I wrote a whole post on my trip to check for E’s daycare center but it somehow got deleted and I haven’t the energy to write it again. The jest is that I made the long awaited trip to 2 daycare centers.

One is nearby, simple and “Desi”.

The other one is farther, more preschool like which really nice Montessori material.

Which one should I go for?

Talking of preschool, I just can’t but whine. I’m already too unsure and nervous about it and the fact that everyone who hears I’ll be sending him to DC goes like, “School so early for this young a kid”, and I go like I’m the mother dammit, don’t you think I’m already too guilty. Do you think I would opt for it if I though it was not safe for him. And its just not outside people, it’s my family, my mother, father, my mil went like you better check it for yourself, my sil went like send him to me, I’ll take care of him (she’s in another city and expecting) and I’m like WTF! Why can’t you all just get on with your life and let me do what I think is best for my baby.

And to top it off, my mil took the liberty to ask our current maid if she would be willing to take care of E while MIL and FIL are gone. Since the maid is already home from 12:00 noon to evening, and is aware of E’s routine, MIL thinks this is a better option. I think it’s a safer option too since I wouldn’t have to drag E out so early in the morning. My only issue is that I know she wants what is best for E but doesn’t she think she needs to talk to us first before asking. She casually informed me on the phone that she has asked the maid. Ufff!

Seconds

I’ve got news that my Sister-in-law and my best friend are expecting their second babies and are due in December. My bhabhi just had her second laparoscopy since the doctor wanted to check if her tubes were clear and all. I hope she brings good news soon.

I’ve already mentioned that my In-laws were planning to go visit Amreeka year end, resulting in my sending E to the daycare. Now since SIL is due in December, we are planning to send them in August or September so they can be back end November or beginning December and can then proceed to SIL’s city. I have no clue how I would handle with E but I hope to get used to it. That also means that E would be in daycare for close to 6 months and after that he would probably be ready for school. Ufff, so many things to see, God, how I would handle all this. I would be so jam packed. And I cannot call my mother here either because that would be wrong to my bhai and bhabhi to call her here for 6 months! Pray for me please, I’m already getting tensed.

Busy bee

I know I’ve been really out of touch with the blog updates but I have very good reasons. Work was so very hectic that I wasn’t even checking mails. Had a 3 day conference to attend and the preparations had to be done well before time. Thank God it went well and so I’m a little free now. Loved having the pressure last week, but what I didn’t like was the aftermath. I love my job but hate my boss. He’s an evil man with a dirty mind and dirty eyes. He is a big “Tharki” as we would say and it’s impossible to work with him. His favorite target are single females, whom he would favor and cover up for till they are not engaged or married and then as soon as they get involved in a relationship, he would throw them out and basically create hurdles for them. I was lucky that I got inducted here after my marriage so I was never a “Target” for him. But that also meant that he many a times created problems by forcing me to late sit and this and that. Thank God I have a supportive family and I was able to shut him up by completing my work.

As expected, even after completing all the conference work, I was treated like since I don’t do a lot of late sitting, I’m not ACTUALLY work. Do hell with them. I’ve got my kid to go home to.

Any hoo, I’m back now. Would be writing updates asap.

The past weekend

I mentioned that I’d be going out of city for one night with our guests. Well, I took a day off on Saturday (after much begging from the boss, may I add) and woke up late (10:30 am!!). Hubby was strictly instructed not to wake me up early at any cost (hehe, I’m evil like that!). Anyway, so after we woke up, we got busy with preparation for the trip. All our backs were packed and we were in the car by 12:30 pm. Had random stuff to get done before we headed off so finally were on the road for the trip by 2:00 pm. How the car trip of 4 hours with an energetic toddler in tow who would just not go to sleep is another story. Reached the city guest house by 6:00 pm. Oh it was such a grand place, beautiful, loved it! And E had a ball roaming around in the house. We freshened up and headed for dinner. E has been a little ill with his allergy and then it was so hot there but overall it was not bad, in fact good. The next day we roamed around the whole day and were back in the car to head home at around 8:00 pm. I knew then only that we’d be late and have to go to office the next day. E was very restless on the way back and drove us crazy. He was in my arms the whole time and that took a toll on my back. We reached home at 2:00 am. Rushed to sleep only to be woken up thrice by E. Hubby was out and that left me to do take care of E. Woke up at 7:30 for work and no rest the whole day. It was so tiring! And on top of that we had to take the guests at a dinner last night which got free at 11:00 and then some guests again came over to meet our guests and headed home at 1:00 am!! I think I’m going to die! I can’t handle sleep deprivation! I won’t say it was a terrible weekend but it was OK.

I would have preferred going to the trip alone with hubby and baby but oh well, some other time. The guests have left and finally we’re back to normal! J

Guests over

As you guys already know, I’ve got guests over at my place. My FIL’s sister and he husband, both are 60+ senior citizens. They’ve been here for the last 4 days and have 4 more days to go before they leave. The aunty is a sweet lady maintained at that age, she’s older then my FIL who is around 65+, and uncle is a quiet man who’s silence can also be misunderstood as his arrogance by some shallow minded, judgmental people like yours truly 🙂

I’m ok with the hospitality stuff and all, even when I’m dead tired after coming home and we take them out every night but they were so nice and all to my MIL and FIL when they stayed over at Canada, but I have my reservation about 2 things:

Firstly, the aunty keeps cribbing about money ALL THE TIME! She keeps on saying her son is trying his best to make extra money and that his job is good but it doesn’t leave a lot in his hands and he’s trying to retire dad and all. And she keeps on repeating this every time we sit and talk. I wouldn’t have had a problem otherwise but if you’ve got money problems and health problems then you would not have been able to travel from Canada to Pakistan, stay for a week, fly out to Dubai for a week, fly back to Pakistan city A, fly again from city A to city B (that’s us!), then fly back to city A, stay for another month and then fly back to Canada. People who don’t have money control their travelling. I told Hubby that why does she cry over money so much, he says its her habit and that she does this so that no one ask her for any money. HUH!! WTH!!

When you get guest over, you are all high on taking them out and this and that and generally touring around the city. The guests generally state their requests and say just for formality sake that “Please, if it is CONVINIENT for you”. I think that’s decency, what do you say? But they haven’t said it in all these 4 days that we’ve been touring them, plus this weekend’s demand was to take them to another by road. I’ve been to that city before with hubby and I’m just dreading this trip with 5 people packed in a car with an energetic toddler for 4-5 hours!! Argghh…. Please guys pray that I survive without breaking down!

15 months

My baby is 15 months! 15 months have swished by and I’m thinking why I can’t keep you a baby forever J. Your personality has emerged in this month. You are such a darling sweetheart. When you’re being naughty and we give you a scolding look, you stare intently looking for a hint of smile. Sometimes we give in and you laugh with us and sometimes we don’t and then you put your heard on our shoulder and we HAVE to give in.

On sleep front, you’re Still NOT sleeping through. Your routine is so unpredictable at night, sometimes you’d sleep late and wake up in morning and sometimes you’d be up crying every hour. These days when Daddy comes to you at night to put you back to sleep you keep on crying and as soon as I come and put your head on my lap, you shush up and go back to sleep. Sweety, this is so tiring but I’m glad you are somehow recognizing your mom, even if it is at a terribly inconvenient time, Alhamdulillah, makes me realize that I agreed to be a mother 24/7. Heard somewhere that “15 months” is a good time for the baby to be sleeping through, hoping that is true.

On activity, you are learning something everyday, Mashallah. You’ve learned up and seem to where UP will come in a poem and shout it out even before we say it. You’ve learned how to play “Ringa Ringa Roses” and want to continue playing this at least 10 times. You know exactly where the one spoon you like to hit us with is located in the spoon drawer, and whenever you don’t find it there, you drag us to the drawer and make us find it for you. Whenever we let you run outside with supervision of course, you have that gleam in your eyes, that NAUGHTINESS. Its cuteness Personified!

You LOVE being around kids and your daddy says we should send you to a playgroup right away but I insist on waiting till October when you would join daycare. I’m so scared of sending you away, even when you would be near my office but still…

Love,

Ma

Folks gone back home and In-laws back home

My in-laws are home. It’s kind of bittersweet because no more home responsibilities. Phew! As soon as E saw them at the airport, he ran full speed to the FIL and jumped in his arms. A lovely moment it was. I must say, E is very happy to have his grandparents back. And they bought him so many goodies!

My parents went back home last morning. As much as I want to keep them here, I know they were so happy to go home. Really, home is where the heart is.

After you become parents, your parents hold a different place in your life. It’s like you realize how much they had sacrificed for you. After having E, this is the first time I’ve spent this much time with my mom and usually I’m much more closer to my father than my mom, but I really got along and sat long hours talking with her.

I never cry when saying goodbye to my folks. Some might say I’m hard hearted, but I know my dad is very sensitive to my tears and I don’t want him worrying over the whole flight about my sadness. Want to send them off happily.

Oh all this comings and goings have worn me out but then we were expecting another pair of guests for another week. I hope I do justice because she is from the Susraal and your parents can forgive you if something goes wrong, but these people wont. They’re nice, my FIL’s sister and her husband and I really hope things go smoothly. Wish me luck.